27 March 2013

To love is to forgive

Hello boys and girls! How have you all been? Missing me, I hope? :) Sorry I haven’t been around writing and all, things have been overwhelming for me I haven’t got time to stop and think or write, at all. Trust me. Want to shit also no time, serious one. LOL.

To compensate me not doing my job as a blogger / rambler (heh), here’s a post about my thoughts on relationship. I’m not too sure if I’ve talked about this before, but if I did, this is more interesting, promise. ;)

I’ve recently spoke to a friend of mine, and learn that he just broke up from his relationship of 5 years. Well, that’s not surprising because this sort of things happen, right? What baffles me is that he mentioned in this relationship, he wasn’t happy for the past 4 years. Forgive me but I cannot understand, I always believed that relationship is built on a foundation, and communication is one of the main components to that foundation. How can one spend 4 years in misery without confronting or communication with their partners?

I mean, let’s be realistic. Relationship isn’t easy, sometimes after getting to know each other more and more, you eventually realized that this isn’t what you’ve signed up for, and it makes absolute sense to break up and continue on your journey to seek the perfect mate. The question is why did you held on? How can one let someone endure the pain of letting go a 5 years relationship than to leave when you realized you’ve stopped loving them after the first year? It just breaks my heart to imagine how much pain that can be for them, no matter who called for the break up. It was painful when I found out what my ex did, but what was even more painful is that he could’ve ended it two months before, when he realized he stopped caring for me. Yet he didn’t, he let me stood and fight through that cold, cold storm for 2 month.

Well, if you really want to know, a small part of the story is that he told this other woman (ehem, you get the gist here) that he stopped loving me and he couldn’t warm up to me anymore. And boys, if you’re reading this, please know that this is really, really painful for girls. If you realized you’ve stopped loving or caring for someone, please let them know and not cheat or lie to them. Talk it out and solve this together. If end of the day this is not something that can be mend, then by all means breakup on mutual terms. But bear in mind that if something is broken, try to fix it first before throwing it away, it’s not easy to find someone to share your love and passion with and it’s even harder to find someone that can understand and love you for who you are. So always, always communicate, guys.

I can’t go on this topic too much because I have to admit that I am a little biased after what has happened. Unfortunately some recent incident has brought me pain and shadows and I refuse to put this burden on any of you. So please excuse me, but perhaps someday when this is all over, I can finally share it with you all.

Anyway, before I end this and probably only returning to this space after a million years later, let me leave you with something. 

Married or not, commitment begins the moment you hold each others' hand. You’ve made a promise to take care of each other through thick and thin, to love and care for each other and to share their burdens and joy. Love isn’t just about the fireworks and time stopping moments, it is finding such moments even during the darkest hour. Love is not about waiting, hoping and praying that the storm will pass, but to learn to kiss and dance under the rain together. So when you decide to hold someone’s hand, make sure you’re ready and fit to keep to this commitment.

Until then, xo. 

Pulau Bidadari, Indonesia

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