10 July 2012

Of tears, rain and the occasional sunshine

Two years now in the UK, and to be honest, this experience gave me so much insight I have to share it out. Truth is, it’s depressing, seeing how the cruel reality have changed us into such mindless follower of money, and life. Yes we might be able to finally afford things that we have always wanted when we were just a student, yes we probably are finally as independent as we always wished for, but in this battle, we’ve lost.

We lost to the cruel world and the reality, and in this fight we have sacrificed our dreams and our truest belief. When I stepped into the university, I vaguely remember that I still hold the belief that I will, someday become a successful anchor person with a burning passion for hard news, politics and justice. Cheesy I know but that was my dream. But now, all I’m left with is this empty soul where I don’t believe anymore. I took a job to do something I have no idea about, my happy days now equals to a day off with a cup of tea and some Cantonese movies, or a book and coffee. I wondered, what happened to my ambition, what happened to that ambitious girl that wanted to conquer the world?

Well, to be fair, my life isn’t too bad and like my parents told me over and over again, life isn’t about chasing fame and glory but to cherish every possible moments of happiness, thus, I could say I am still rather content in some way. However, it pains me to see my beloved friends here, those who stayed with me, they’ve lost their sole passion that I’ve always been envy about. I have never really been extremely passionate, or good at something; but them, they are brilliant! Great designers with an eye for photography, I can still recall he who used to carry his really heavy camera everywhere he goes, and not complain a single word, all that for a good picture! But now, his costly 5d Mark II is left in the corner of his closet, occasionally brought out during birthday celebrations and… wait, that’s it, there’s nothing else. You can imagine the heartache I felt. The great pictures he took his unique eye for photography and his passion was something so rare, something that I probably can never possess. All this, gone because we were too busy chasing something else, chasing money for a living, working two jobs a time, and by the end of the day, we’d be too tired to even think about passion and dreams, all we want is to snug under the duvet with a cup of hot tea and nothing else.

It hurts to say, we’ve lost this battle. UK is a lovely country, but it is indeed, killing our passion one bit at a time. 

1 comment:

Chee Ching said...

I guess you could always return, when you will the time is right. :)


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