17 March 2009

Age 20, and she's gone, forever.

I found out that an old school mate of mine has passed away a few days ago. I was not really close to her so when I found out I was not really, u know, shocked... simply because I didn't really care.

But when my other friend visited me last night and told me more about her death, I suddenly felt the fear, and sorrow. She is just my age, and I can vaguely remember that she is a very quiet person, and she hang out with the other group that wasn't too fond of me then. But I can remember that she will always smile at me when we meet.

Her death was nothing more than an accident. Along with her boyfriend sitting at the back seat, she was on her way home in a friend's car, but the friend who was driving however, wasn't in a very good mood. So he sped and suddenly pressed the emergency break. The whole car swirled and knocked on another car which coincidentally was stopping at the side. The back of the car hit he other car and the two back passengers was severely injured. Yes, that's her and the boyfriend.

But is must be fate, that the two front passengers were only lightly injured. Driver has got himself three stitches, and the other got some light injuries on the left arm. But both my friend and her boyfriend died of brain damage and internal haemorrhage. I heard that her organs were crushed. Gosh.

I often wonder, what is it that these people have done, that God must let them die in such way? And I often wonder, how am I going to die? Will God have mercy on me and let me die in a peaceful manner? I wonder...

I wonder is it true, if they will see their life flashes in front of their eyes, if so... what is it that I will see? I am always so busy working and studying to ensure myself a "steady, good life" in the future. But what if I don't have a future? What is it that I will see the moment before I die? I definitely won't want to see myself busy my whole life, and ending up with nothing for myself. I was too busy trying to please everyone else in my life. I often spend money for the best things for my friends but never on myself. I buy my friends nice food but I will never by them for myself alone.

I've spent my whole life here, in Malaysia, doing things to please others instead of myself. I wonder, what would be the images that flash before I die... Or what is it that you all will see when you all stare into my cold, lifeless face lying in the coffin? A girl who tried her best to please others, or something else?

A good friend, maybe?

This is a link where i was so bored then I came up with something like this. Click HERE.


X said...

May her soul rest in peace.

shing you are still young liao,don't feel down k? so cheer up and try to live your life to the max k?
pick your nose in public,jump from KL tower,pee in the wind(??) or whatever outrageous and memorable.

Hurmm i think i want to die like benjamin button.can i? can i?
ohh Im already 20 and humphh i feel like old already.*sigh/depress*

Benrauf said...

Inna LiLlah wa inna ilaiHi rajioun.

Meng said...

Life IS fragile....appreciate and enjoy your life more. :)


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