14 July 2008

not a happy post / happy birthday Dylla.

Beware: this is NOT a happy post, so if any of you are looking for a happy bubbly jumping around / bimbotic post then please move on to the next blog.
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I remember one of the classes, we've learned that we do things out of purpose, and because we have a reason, thats why its fuel us up to do such action; but now im confuse, why am i doing things that I see serve no purpose at all?


Why am i wasting my time doing things that people will not realise in the end of the day?


What is it that makes me want to do that?


Am i trying to be someone im not? Am i trying to prove something? or am i just do it because i have to do so?


Everyday, the more i do this work, the more i see the waste of time doing it, yes i do learn alot, but why do such, when end of the day, people wont realise wad have you done? why do so when end of the day you yourself that did so much could not get to enjoy?


I have other responsibility, and I would pay more attention on what i think is important.


At times i think to myself, "am i doing the right thing by taking up such responsibility?"
but i continued my journey, but not a single part of me says that im happy.


I felt old, and dead, or at least dying. I felt so not me anymore. like bits and parts of me are slowly dying and slowly turning grey.


I dont remember how its like to laugh without worries, to hum to a tune where it does not exist.
I only knew how tired I am, and how badly i need a rest.

sigh.
Im getting emo. i hate myself now.

Seriously.


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Another birthday! I love birthdays!
Happy birthday to my good good friend Dylla.

" Babe, im sorry for not always being there for you, and Im so sorry, i wanted to throw u a party, but i was too busy today babe, Im so sorry. thanx alot and Happy Birthday!"

1 comment:

LexieCharalle said...

Y are you so emo?? u know i'll be there if u need to talk. love ya.

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