Absolutely exhausted

Maybe I shouldn’t be blogging at times like these but seriously, I’m absolutely lost and I have no one to turn to but my fellow blog readers and my one trustworthy good ol’ blog. Guys, I need hugs, lotsa them.

Have you ever wonder what if everything doesn’t turn out the way you want them to be?

Yes I’m all negative again, I know. Seriously, bear with me, please. I need to rant so bad I think I curse in my sleep. I mean, I got a part-time job that should be paying for my bills and rent but apparently due to the fucked up schedule of the company, I am now still on standby waiting for the supervisor to call me and tell me when to start. Oh gosh, how many times I need to say that I hate waiting. It’s troublesome enough waiting for someone that will never call or text, now I have to continue waiting next to the phone for my job call, wow! Life has such an amazing way of making dear Shing miserable.

Then, there’s this new home that is supposed to be an amazing new start for me, well, it is, but the only thing is that there’s no internet and the only reason I get to go online now is thanks to my dear Samsung Galaxy S with a data plan that can also work as a modem. The internet guy is supposed to be here but I guess like every English / British person I know, they take their own sweet time at doing things and again, they love making Shing wait. Though I know if this bugger don’t show up I can and will complain till his pants come off, it doesn’t really make me feel any better. For the tenth million times, I hate waiting and that’s final.

And of course, the biggest problem is the job (fine, that's not the biggest problem in my mind but what the heck), and this time I meant the proper full time job that requires you to go to work from 9 to 5 and it pays you properly and that you get to meet clients and get screwed by bosses (not literally). I need a career to get things off my mind, I have a life to live and without a job I have no money and without money we all know how things will turn out to be. Talk about stress.

All I want to do now is to go out, party, get wasted and not think about anything. I know, it’s not like me but I really want to get away from all this and I don’t know how. Honestly, I don’t have anyone to turn to that would understand me 100% and I feel stupid to be worrying about certain things already and I think it’s even stupider to tell it to my friends. I mean, if even I think that I’m stupid, who won’t, right? Sometimes I really wish there’s this person that I can talk to all the time, and have all his attention on me and me alone. Yes you know what I mean, but let’s not go there. I don’t want to drown my keyboard.

I know I have been in tougher situations than this but seriously, cut me some slack and just make things work already. I don’t think I can take any more stress and worry and pain than I already did. There’s only so much a person can take you know. Seriously, I am so done waiting. Right now I really just want to go home.