Should I or should I not breakup? Is he or is he not?
Right, I’m sure in a certain period of your life, there will be this time where you are faced with these questions, be it from yourself, or from someone else.
You see, funny thing in relationship, is that we fight so hard to be in it, and when we’re actually in it, there will be times that we doubt ourselves and ask if we should end it. In this short three months, I’ve had countless number of friends asking me the same ol’ question again and again, should I or should I not break up with my bf/ gf, and how do I do it?
Truth be told, in the duration of my previous relationship, I too, faced the exact same problem, but never had the guts to confront myself why did I wanted to end a relationship I struggled so hard to sustain, or why do I even thought about breaking up when you can say I love you to each other every day? Now that I’m off the relationship, I had the chance to see things clearer, and to finally understand the mentality of all my friends, and even myself a year ago.
Well, when I was being posted with such questions, I asked my friends a question instead – where do you see yourself in 10 years with this person? Are you going to include this person in all your future plans? Of course some would tell me, “yeah why not, I mean, I love her/ him, I want to be with them”… Then there’s this other big question, is there any habits of his that you can’t stand, and are you willing to live with this habit for the rest of your life? Oh honey, please don’t fool yourself and say that he’s going to change, if he has been digging his nose when he drives for the past 5 years, chances are he’s going to do that for the next 50 years too… That, like it or not, is what make him, him. Hence, when faced with such confusion, always ask yourself these questions, but no, that isn’t my point. My point is, is this person your “the one”?
As cheesy as it might sound, it’s true. To be really honest, although I loved the guy I was dating back then, I did not see him as my “One”, not that he is any bad or something, it’s just a gut feeling that tells me so. And obviously, after seeing each other for a year plus, problems started arising because we couldn’t stand each other’s certain habits and behaviours. No it’s nothing bad or wrong, it’s just the way of life. In relationships, we grew and learn to love and be loved and to search for that right person that suits us most. At times you might spend a little more time looking and learning, but I promise it’s all worth it, because every minute we spend with the “wrong” person, bring us a step closer to the right person.
Of course, so much easier said than done, that was what my friends told me too. I mean, I was one of them, I knew he wasn’t the one, but I could never break it up because there’s already so much put into the relationship – so much time and effort and love, and how can one just let go? C’mon, we ain’t heartless or cold blooded beast, we still love even though we know that they are not the right person. Thing is, I know this is going to sound bad, but why settle for second when you deserve the first? And because you love this person so much, you have to let them go, let them find that ONE, that very one person that can love them the way they deserves it. If you know that your future is never going to be with this person, why drag them along? Why put them in misery and make them suffer? Why not just close your eyes and bear with this pain for a moment, while you know that they are a step closer to be with that person that they truly deserve? That, I think, is true love… Not everyone can do that, even I am only beginning to learn that months ago… But yes, that, I believe is the right way to love someone – to let them be with the right person, a person that will love them more than you are able to love them in your entire life.
P/s: I know I haven’t been updating, I’ve been busy and there’s so much going on right now…I know those are no excuse, I promise I’ll try my best to update every once in a while. :)