Here I am, typing on my laptop after so long. I’m sure many of you realized that I haven’t been writing for a very long while now, well, to be exact, writing properly. Yes I admit it; I have caught the writer’s block ever since the incident. I became afraid of what I write.
I became afraid of so many things - about what would people interpret from what I wrote, about how he will make fun of me, about how my poor language skills will turn me into laughing materials for others. Hence I stopped writing, well, at least I stopped writing here on this blog. Instead, I wrote at a place where no one else can read, where no one else will be able to point at me and laugh. But even those aren’t proper writing, just rants, and rambles. Then I got so tired of rambling, eventually I stopped writing entirely. Ever since I arrived here in UK, I haven’t been “in touch” with the writer side of me.
I’m still afraid now, really, but I’m not going to let this fear take over me anymore. No matter how afraid I am of writing, of expressing myself, I think it’s time for the real Shing to come out again. The Shing that would go that extra mile to make sure no one dare to hurt the people she loved, the Shing that loves writing regardless of her lousy English - the Shing that is hidden underneath all the insecurity and fear.
I cannot tell you this won’t happen again, because I’m sure eventually, one day it will come back again – the writer’s block, the insecurity, the lack of confidence, but this moment, I feel good about me writing again and I promise I will try to write as much as I can. :)