16 March 2010

and I bought your favorite ice cream...

Sorry for the unannounced short hiatus, as usual, but I guess these sort of thing will come more often as I am so caught up with work and stuff. Too many things have been going on and I really don’t have the time to sit down in front of my darling laptop and write, well, I rather spend the time catching up with my sleep. Seriously, oh by the way I have a strong hunch about this post being a post that is cramp with everything so if you find this post a tad too messy, don’t say I didn’t warn you. LOL.

You know how we always say time flies? It actually does, I mean look at it this way, I’m turning 21 in a month time and yet it felt like yesterday where I just graduate from primary school (yea there’s a picture of my standard 6 face on FB and made me go OMG). Well, to be more realistic, can you imagine I’m already working for almost 5 months now? Wasn’t it just a few posts away where I posted my first day at work? Hmmm… However, I’m still not getting bored of that view of Sunway Lagoon every time I walked toward Pyramid or that wonderful smell of food from Atrium when I’m walking to Pyramid. I find it spectacular, that one man’s vision can turn a mining place to such wonderland we are looking at today. Which brings me to what I’m trying to say, the future; don’t you think it’s scary that we’ll never know what is there for us? Me being me, I over think a lot and the feeling of being there in the future scares me. I mean, what if I can never earn enough money to support myself and fulfill my dreams or I can’t even afford a house and stuff? What if I never have that vision of what I want to do, and I get stuck here?

The future is so scary, I vaguely remember I wanted to get married when I reach the age of 25 (ok every girl has an ideal age ok I don’t want to get a baby when I’m like 40 ok)and I’m already going 21. Yet I don’t think I’ll ever be ready for it, marriage, I mean. Who will? Will we ever find the right person? You can be with someone now and that person don’t share the same view as you, making you think twice of ever being together forever with this person, or you are with someone younger and all they wanted to do is to have fun, or you are never comfortable enough with this person you are with to marry them, or even, you might have met this person but they are already taken, or attached, or maybe you’re with the perfect person but you needed to leave and commitment is not your thing now. How scary, you can meet the right person the wrong time and everything is screwed. I’m so afraid of this, so afraid of commitments and the thought of being with one person forever and trying to figure out if they are really the one for me. Wow. Tough.

Ok, I have a secret to share and after today it won’t be a secret anymore but it’s so scary I need to tell the whole world. I have the weirdest craving for babies. Oh no, I don’t want to eat them but I’d like to have one. Weird? I know. It’s so weird that every time I look at a baby I feel that feeling of ever having one and stuff, and I would imagine how she would look like. Funny but strange because I cannot afford to ever have a child at this age, I mean, look at the future I will be throwing away. Oh well, I guess it’s a girl thing that we all have that motherly thing in us, maybe? But seriously, I’d like to have a baby but can it just stay a baby and not grow up? Haha. Kids are evil, just look at my fat brother. Urgh. So if you have a daughter I don’t mind being her god mother haha. I’d spoilt her to the max, I know. =p Btw, one of the only things that amuse me is a cute baby, or a puppy. Such weird combo but it’s true. I easily gets distracted by these two things. The other day I went to makan and there was this couple with a seriously adorable puppy and it was seating right in front of me but outside the window… I was practically staring at it all the time! The only time I’d look away is when a kid came through the door, haha. See what I mean?

By the way, have you felt that you’re asking too much out of life and just wonder if you are too greedy? I secretly do. Alright not so secret now but I still wanted more from whatever I’m having now. Greedy Shing. Smack head. Talking about heads, I have this same song that's been playing in my head for three days now and it's not going away. It's a song called "ice cream" and it gives that really soothing feeling that makes you want to go to sleep. But three days?! The same song?! Well, I'm not complaining. :)

Someone borrowed my shoulder to cry on just now, and somehow she managed to made me feel sad too. Sometimes I wish I wasn't such an emo person. Oh well, too bad I am. Guess that's what made Shing awesome (as usual).

Oh, right, see what I told you bout the hunch. Messy, eh?


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