26 July 2011

Just like hana-maki

OK, so I overreacted with my previous post. Like all Aries, my anger comes and goes… So… Though I disagree with what he did (for the fact the he had to lie to me, or put it in a different way – to tell me things selectively), I realized that it was really nothing. I mean, I trusted him in the first place, and I see no reason to change that… Yes, call me silly but I am such a softie inside (no, really), I forgive and sometimes forget, well, most of the time.

I know I might sound like some insane girl with serious mood swing problems, not to mention the disorder of following my heart way too extensively; and yes I do realize the fact that I just might regret it again few days later, but I am willing to take this risk of believing and trusting the people around me. Like I always said, give the world the best and it will come back to you, if I’m not willing to trust someone, how can I expect to be treated the same way, to be given the same trust? My friends always tell me that I’m stupid, that I trust people too easily and that I give in to quickly. But to me, I think it’s a risk worth taking. It is call a leap for a reason. ;)


Anyway, here’s the thing about first love I promised.

It is not how long you are with this person, or if he was the first person that you got together with… but it is how they make u feel, that is what makes them your first love. It is how their smile warms your heart, how their touch makes everything seem beautiful, and how you forget the existence of the rest of the world when you stare into their eyes.

You’ll never forget how they first hold you in their arms, the first time you fought and walked away, the first time he cried for you, or the first time you cried for him, and you’ll never forget, the very first time you looked him in the eye and whisper to him the three little words that changed everything, the whole course of your nature changed, just because you love him.

The way he understood you, the way he made you felt, is just simply irreplaceable. The way he loved you, can be pretty boring at times, but it will never fail to bring a smile to your face every time it crosses your mind.

I always wanted more, I wanted more than just a boy that loves you, I wanted passion I wanted a life I wanted stability…. And then I didn’t have anything. But I wouldn’t say I ended up with nothing to be honest. I ended up with a lot of beautiful, amazing memories that fill me up with joy; I ended up with a hell of an experience, and I ended up finding my first love that will always be a part of my life.

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